Women's 2019 big kick-the-ball tournament

I'm not going to go to the mats on this, at all, but I will simply state again that the content of this thread simply doesn't support the assertion. And most of the snark is pretty meta - we're making fun of making fun of soccer as much or more than we're making fun of soccer itself. These boards - before the Mothership got so damn earnest, at least - have always included a certain amount of healthy snark. It's a sports writer thing. Maybe a journalist thing, in fact. I get it, though. It's the whole, "You can make fun of your own family, but someone else better not" concept at work.

The example I always go back to is with doctors. They’re experts. Their opinions are more valid than mine. Their field is largely dependent on subjective evaluations. But since they’re experts, they’re the ones who make those determinations.

And just like anything, there are good doctors (i.e., “experts”) and bad doctors (i.e., “not experts”).

I don't know what any of this has to do with anything.

I haven't gotten personal with you at all.

You get personal with me in every response.

Hey!

You can continue to turn this on me all you want, and I understand that as goes a poster, he carries his history with him. That being the case, it is fair to mention that 90 percent of your responses, across all social media, impugn either the speaker or the speaker’s motives.

Speaker: Critics seem to be coalescing around the idea that the Stones opening night show in Chicago, in light of Mick’s health problems, deserves a spot in the pantheon of Stones live performances.

Robert Drake: Sheltered Chicago guy thinks something in Chicago is the best ever. Shocking!

Speaker: It’s bothersome that Deadspin cuts and pastes this extensively.

Robert Drake: You’re just still mad they scooped your friends on Manti Te'o.

Impugn, impugn, impugn. You may think your ad hominem attacks make you edgy, take-no-prisoners, a “sonofabitch.” You may justify them - and have - by proclaiming that your targets deserve it. All they do, in actuality, are reveal you as insecure, defensive, overly sensitive*, and small, and no amount of lines on your 20-page CV changes that.

For two decades, you have had two core go-tos, when you are goaded into one of your little grown-up fits:

1. “Midwesterners are unsophisticated and insular.” This is not uncommon among coastal natives who matriculate to “flyover” country for college or work. I was friendly with everyone on my various beats, but, man, did I hear some version of this a million times. In a discussion, it's unresponsive.

2. “Sports journalists are unsophisticated and stupid.” Is this generally true? I have no idea. But it doesn’t matter. Used by you, it’s always a dodge.

Now you can continue to roll out whatever applause lines about me that you want, and I have no doubt they will gain some traction among some minority of posters. We know from the most recent general election that people tend to favor a zinger over substance. I’ve copped to my flaws. I’ve copped to this being a "bad fit." But anyone who wants to exercise any objectivity - and that includes most of the dudes I’ve ever feuded with, because they generally have about as much use for you as they do for me - having read this digression, would realize that in this case:

It’s. Fucking. You.

* Hacked off about the Alex Morgan bikini photo? Really? Really? There is literally nobody on the Internets who has been more critical of Morgan's attention-whoring than one Robert Drake.